
drug-testing company to conduct random screens. I added his name, and within a year he had failed two tests and struck out. Two of the more interesting cases I was a part of, however, involved dispatchers.
A dispatcher I managed was suspected of drug use on the job, something to do with the bathroom, smoke, and a garbage bag (don't ask). The first time I took her up to the facility to be tested, the result was "overhydrated," meaning there was apparently too much water in the sample for accurate testing. Not sure exactly what happened there. The next day we went back (she was livid, at this point), and the same result occurred, with what the facility called "probability" of a positive result. When I confronted her with this, she got angry and went home, and then her husband came down and violently submitted a protest to our company owner (I had already left). She never came back.
Another office worker I managed was suspected of drug addiction, and I let her know that we were concerned for her and that at some
point she would be tested. "Bring it on," she countered. Well, one day I came in and took her up to the facility. She seemed calm and confident. We had to wait a few minutes, so she asked for a drink of water and was directed to a water fountain down the hall. After a few more minutes, as I sat and read a Sports Illustrated, the facility tech asked me where she was. I didn't see her anywhere, so they brought a female security guard up to check the bathroom. Nothing. We looked all over for about 15 minutes, and finally gave up. I drove back to the office. They called me about 10 minutes later. They had found her, three floors up in the medical building, hiding in a copy room. I drove back to pick her up, and they asked me if we still needed to do the test. "Nope," I said. "We're good."
The people at the facility seemed excited whenever I came in with anyone after that. A break in their day, I guess.
In my first few months at TPN, I got a call one day from one of our customers, very upset. She had received her order, and all over the box were written names of drugs, she said. Marijuana, methamphetamine, PCP.... Well, needless to say, I was quite confused by this. I
apologized and asked her if she could send the box back to me so I could see it. "I destroyed it," she told me. She spoke the word "destroyed" with a sort of biblical authority. I did some research and found that the shipment originated from one of our distributors, but they were at a loss as well when I called to ask about it.
A few months after that, I was in our storage room, getting some paper, and up on the top shelf was a little box containing a drug-testing kit. And printed on the outside of the box, for marketing purposes, were the words, "Marijuana," "Methampetamine," "PCP," and other drug names. Apparently someone at our distributor's facility recycled one of these boxes and used it for our customer order . Yeesh. You'd think the guy at the shipping table might look at that and think, "Gee, maybe I better ask someone if this is a good idea."
Sooner or later, there's an explanation for everything.
Have a safe and profitable week.
Sincerely,
Nick Kemper
www.TowPartsNow.com